


Fall to pieces

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst/Romance, Arashi - Freeform, M/M, Sakumoto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But he’s long given enough wondering about that, and that’s why he chose to move on rather than wait for Sho to figure things out himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall to pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shinigamiami](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=shinigamiami), [kinoface](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinoface/gifts).



> Angst. Angst. Angst. Who loves Angst?

It shouldn’t be this hard to say the things he ought to have said eons ago, because now he finds it even harder to form words – most especially those that mattered.

“H-Hey,” he says, quiet and almost inaudible as he presses his phone firmly to his face, closes his eyes as he waits for any sort of confirmation from the other end; he can’t hear anything save from the sound of his own heartbeat and the gentle, barely-there sound of the man’s breathing from the other end.

He’s huddle in the corner alley of the bar his friends chose to drag him to that night, as they have planned on getting him mindlessly drunk before –

“How’s your stag party coming along?” the question came in before he even manages to ask the other man how he is doing, where he is at the moment, if there’s any way they could somehow _– no_ , of course not. He breathes deeply and strains to hear even the slightest change from the man’s voice, wishing he possesses the strength to tell him how much he hates being the person that he is now, how the distance between them makes him feel worse than he already are.

“S-Sho,” he says his name like it’s the last time he’s going to say it, bites his lips afterwards when he hears him breathe sharply; it’s so hard, standing here in the dark and wishing he doesn’t have to go through this if only they’re both brave enough to face the consequences of their actions together, if only he wasn’t that stupid to jump on fulfilling the man’s wishes at the very first chance he gets.

But he’s long given enough wondering about that, and that’s why he chose to move on rather than wait for Sho to figure things out himself.

The only problem here is – Jun doesn’t know if it’s that or it’s actually the other way around.

“I…” he starts, then stops mid-way when Sho opted on swallowing noisily, enough to preen Jun into saying something they both knew would only complicate things further. But Jun finds he doesn’t care, not anymore, not when he is the one standing in the middle of all these and not Sho.

“No, Jun,” Sho quickly retorts, his voice voids the anger Jun expects to hear, and it somehow makes it even more real; the distance that seemed to gnaw at Jun at every turn even when he and Sho are standing next to each other. “ – j-just – no, okay? It’ll be alright. You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” Sho says, but the quirk in his voice is a clear reminder of that last conversation they had, which ended up with Sho stalking out and Jun crying helplessly in one corner until Nino came in to drag him in his and Ohno’s apartment.

He shakes his head and swallows the lump forming in his throat, his fingers tightening their grip against his phone.

“I’m marrying her in two days, Sho-chan,” he says, feeling outright miserable despite his attempts at keeping himself together; it’s not something he can be proud of, but at least there is no one to judge him here in the dark, with only Sho’s quiet breathes and his pounding heart as his companion.

“I know,” Sho answers, and the quake in his voice is louder this time; “ – I.. I h-hope you’re enjoying yourself, M-Ma-chan,” Sho follows, softly, fondly, and Jun feels that familiar twist in his chest that doesn’t have anything to do with anger anymore; it’s even more violent this time as he finds himself choking with emotions he had managed to rein in for so long, and now –

“Just say the words and I won’t do it, Sho-chan,” Jun breathes back, and he knows he sounds desperate, begging Sho quietly even though he knows what this means in the end. “ – just tell me you want me back and I –“ he pauses, wipes his face and does his best to calm down, hearing Sho’s quiet sniffs from the other end. He knows what he’s asking is too much, and he knows he’s going to hurt a lot of people for wanting the same person who keeps breaking his heart over and over again, but he doesn’t care – couldn’t care less about the consequences because he knows what he wants, wishes it is that easy.

Sho breathes on the other end and says, “I’ll see you in two days, Jun-chan,” before he hangs up.

Jun blinks and knows exactly what it means. “Bye, Sho-chan,”

 

 


End file.
